Something happened today. I blurted out everything I've been keeping to myself and the most of all, I'll tell my girlfriends what I was feeling inside. What my disappointments were, and everything.
But today, with the magic of "opening up", I discovered one of life's beauty - The Relief.
I've been holding grudge for too long. I've been blaming him for what happened, blaming him for the pain I'm feeling inside, and everything. I put 3/4 of the blame on him, forgetting what actually happened - that I asked for this. I was the one who came out with the idea to go our separate ways, for some reasons I did.
But unfortunately for both of us, throughout, I happened to forget that. Forget the reasons why I did what I did. Why I made the decisions to put everything to an end. I forgot what I always wished he could have ; a normal life with a normal relationship. What we had was for some reasons not normal. I forgot, and I'm sorry for that.
*Insert tears of I-don't-know, joy perhaps?*
Anyway, what he said today was true. After all he's always been the person who reminded me of things I occasionally forget. And I should thank him, perhaps, for reminding me of what I've done, what he's attempted, and what I was so determined of.
And what I'm feeling today was beyond what I actually foresaw. The relief was so meaningful because this is what I needed. Thus I hope this will last, and I hope there'll be no grudge, ever again. Ameen.
No comments:
Post a Comment