Allah is Great

Dia ingin berubah. Dia ingin jadi seperti dahulu. Sentiasa mengingati Allah, sentiasa takut akan azab-Nya, sentiasa taat pada perintahn-Nya, dan sentiasa jaga batas pergaulan. Dia yakin dan percaya, perempuan yang dijaga oleh Allah, pasti tidak akan membenarkan mana-mana tangan lelaki menyentuh dirinya.

Namun, takala dia merasakan dirinya cukup bahagia dengan hidayah Allah, Allah menguji dirinya. Allah menghadirkan dirinya dengan seorang lelaki yang menuntut balasan cinta. Dirinya dimewahkan dengan kata-kata pujian, dengan gurindam rindu dan madah-madah cinta yang sebelum ini tidak pernah meneroka hati dan jiwanya.

Dia percaya cinta dari Allah, tapi dia lupa itu bukan caranya. Dia alpa. Hatinya sudah tidak seperti dahulu. Hatinya dilimpahi rasa rindu si jejaka. Rindu si nafsu yang mengwar-warkan kemanisan cinta manusia. Bukan dia tidak sedar dia sudah berubah, bukan juga dia tidak sedar bahawa ketenangan hati yang pernah dianugerahkan oleh Allah semakin menjauhi. Dia menutup kesedaran itu dengan janji dan kata-kata cinta si jejaka.

Dia sudah jauh dari hidayah Allah. Imannya rapuh, syaitan menari-nari tatkala dia membenarkan tangan rakus si jejaka menyentuh dirinya bersama alunan syahdu janji kekasih. Tempat yang sepatutnya dia jaga, didedahkan. Kononnya yakin si jejaka adalah suaminya.

Tidakkah dia takut dengan dosa atau dengan azab Allah?. Ya, dia sedar tetapi separa sedar. Rasa sayangnya pada jejaka itu mulai melebihi segalanya. Namun, syukur pada Allah, Allah masih sayang padanya. Jejaka itu gagal menawan mahkota dirinya. Saat dirinya berutus cinta, dia masih lagi solat, dia tidak lupa tanggungjawabnya. Namun mungkin solatnya masih tidak sempurna lalu robohlah benteng imannya dipukul ombak nafsu cinta manusia.

Allamdullilah. Allah menurunkan hidayah pada dirinya. Di saat jejaka menyepikan diri seketika, dirinya dilanda rasa berdosa. Mengingati kembali dosa-dosa yang dilakukan, mengalir air mata kekesalan. Disaksikan kegelapan malam, dia bangun untuk bersolat taubat. Menangislah dirinya sepuas-puasnya. Dia memohon petunjuk pada Allah, dia ingin kembali, kembali atas cinta. Demi cinta Allah yang tidak pernah berpaling dari hidupnya dia nekad untuk berubah. Namun hatinya sedikit takut akan janji Allah.

"Wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki yang baik dan begitu sebaliknya."

Apa yang patut dia lakukan kini. Dia mula merasakan dia bukan dari kalangan wanita yang baik-baik. Tidak layak untuk sesiapa. Dia menutup pintu hatinya seketika dari cinta manusia yang bernafsu yang mengeruhkan kolam keimanannya yang pasang surut. Sehingga ditakdirkan Allah untuk dirinya bertemu dengan seseorang yang mencintainya kerana Allah.

"Demi cinta Allah yang ku kejar, kuatkan hatiku untuk bertahan, berikan ku kecerdasan akal untuk sentiasa berfikir tentang kuasaMu, hulurkan pertolonganMu di saat-saat aku hampir tewas, sinarkan nur hidayahMu untuk aku terus di jalanMu. Ya Allah! Aku memohon keampunan kepadaMu."

Article taken from iluvislam.com

Seth Tan

Current addiction is to curl up in the couch in front of TV with my laptop, watch this drama while tweeting about it every second, and flood my timeline and others' with hot hot and handsome and most importantly how sweet Aaron Aziz is being a husband. Walaupun adik Sam Bunkface ape tah nama minah tu tak reti belakon, kayu bagai, tapi tak kesah la janji Aaron Aziz handsome. Sekian.

You wouldn't know what I'm rambling until you watch it yourself! Aaron Aziz baring tido atas sofa pun handsome, camne?

Apetah lagi merempit naik motorbike. Tapi ni takde dalam scene. Ni gambar hiasan ambik daripada Google.

Again

But like everything I've ever known, you'll disappear one day

So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away

-Adele

Of JLPW

 

 Via SNOTM

ZOMAIGOD. MAMPUS.

Guduhom

Last Friday I went back to kampung for Mama had few things to be done. Along the way, there are few kampungs ; some have names that are familiar to me and some does not.

Lalu punya lalu, terjumpa satu nama kampung ni pelik tak pernah dengar.


Guduhom


Lepas tu Mama cakap "Nak tau tak mana datang nama Guduhom tu?"

She said, masa zaman dulu-dulu masa banyak British officers duduk kat area tu, the people will ask "Where are you going, Sir?"

And the officers will answer "Go to home" in their accent.

Cuba kamu semua try cakap "Go to home" sekarang dengan British accent, wouldn't it sounds like "Guduhom"?

So itu saja cerita disebalik nama Kampung Guduhom yang terletak di Negeri Sembilan. Sekian. Bosannya.

At-Taqwa

Photos via HHalem. More photos click here.

Allah itu Maha Kaya, Maha Kuasa. Setiap apa yang berlaku takkan berlaku jika bukan dengan izin dan kehendak-Nya. Dia turunkan musibah atas pelbagai alasan, I believe. Salah satunya ialah untuk menduga keimanan dan ketaqwaan kita dan kesabaran dalam menempuhi dugaan-Nya. Adakah kita akan meratapi sesuatu musibah, atau berdoa kepada-Nya agar dikuatkan hati yang lemah?

It's easier said than done, in this context. It's easy to simply ask a person to be patient. Have faith, be strong, and whatnots, merely saying it on the basis to make them feel okay where actually deep inside, we can never predict what are they feeling, though we can always say "I understand how you feel" but no, we don't. We don't until and unless we are in their shoes.

I must say that it's heartbreaking to see these kids lost their friends, parents lost their children, brothers and sisters lost their siblings. And more heartbreaking to see the families and friends weep over by the deceased's bodies, which some are in perfect condition and some are, unfortunately, incomplete, knowing that the person they love will never come back again, ever.

But bottom line is that we must believe that Allah is The All-Knowing. He takes away something from you and He will surely replace it with something better. Though there surely are no other replacements for a lost soul, but Allah does replace it with something else.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat-Nya keatas semua Allahyarham dan menempatkan mereka di Arasy yang tertinggi. Ameen.

Al-Fatihah.

P.S. If only they were in the house...... ='(

And I suppose the media should stop making speculations about certain family members. Show some respect towards people who just a person they truly love, will you?

This is the last photo taken before the landslide occured. See the two adorable little boys in the front row? I wonder what happened to them ='(

Reasons

• I don’t want another person in my life who will let me down
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who will judge me
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who will upset me
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who will treat me badly
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who will leave me 
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who will make me feel invisible
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who I will disappoint
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who I will bother
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who I will rely on
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life who I will worry
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life to wait for
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life to miss
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life to have to pretend around
• 
  
• I don’t want another person in my life to care about when they don’t care about me

(via tumblr)

Wowwieee some are just true, the reasons why I am content of loneliness, perhaps? But there's no harm in trying, and failing again and again because without trying and subsequently failing, what thrills would there be in life to be treasured? Ahh cakap pandai ah cuba buat tengok.

After Four

No more :

Staying up till late at night, doing nothing but borak-borak kosong

Main try-try baju or tudung

Impulse plans

Tetibe tgh2 malam lapar, SMS : "Babe, lapar ah jom cari makanan?"

SMS : "Babe, tgh bwatpe?"

Randomly pegi bilik Zati & Fiza (depan my room) just because I'm bored

Meleser-leser kat katil Zati borak-borak

Assignments ; Group or individual

Balloting tasks for assignments

Running in heels to submit assignments before the due time

Last minute cracking up head to memorize cases untuk exam esok harinya

Men-sakai-kan diri kat C-Mart

Cakap loghat Utara kuat-kuat kat C-Mart sampai selang berapa lorong dah boleh dengar suara kitorang

Duduk dalam Watsons, main try-try lotion, and tgk barang-barang baru, sampai 2 jam pun possible

Main slide-slide bila pakai slipar/kasut tapak licin

Suruh Idy pegi bayar bill sebab nak duduk kat kerusi Celcom

Beli air Ramesh berdozen-dozen

Lepak C-Kopitiam

Makan kat EDC bila tiba-tiba rasa nak berlagak nak feeling-feeling orang kaya

Burger MISC late at night

Makan kat Tomyam, pastu geram ngan bulat sebab comel, bengang ngan Adnan sebab kerek

SMS : "Makan at 8, ok?"

Memperkotak-katikkan Aunty/Uncle dobi. Tapi Uncle maintain buat bodoh takde perasaan

Makan makcik sedap

Dengar Idy cakap "Babe I rasa I terambik nasi banyak la" tiap-tiap kali pegi makan kat makcik sedap

Statements/soalan bodoh Zati

Tgk Fiza lari macam Watson Nyambek ke arah kereta sebab dah lambat

Raihan salah cakap

SMS : "Babe, naik kereta sape?"

Lepas beli makanan kat Mak Ngah, dialog standard : "You punya brape ringgit?"

Caltex - Halame, Mat Nyan, kawan Mat Nyan, etc

Mat Nyan ketuk hood kereta lepas dah habis isi minyak sampai tahap tangan dia pakai bandage, bengang gila

Halame meng-lame-kan diri

Tong-tong minyak sorang RM5 - Kelisa JARANG dapat minyak lebih daripada RM20 tiap kali isi

Dalam kereta otw pegi makan : "Nak makan mana?". Jawapan : "Tak kisah"

Pegi Changlun, tiba-tiba je dah sampai Jitra/Alor Setar/Penang. Penang tu super impulse

Trigger nak tengok wayang

Cool Blog

Karok. Konon nak sejam je, pastu tambah lagi sejam

Dance-dance tangan yang kat arcade tu. Peluh sakan betul main tu

Memekak kat seluruh tempat yang kita pergi, tak pernah tak kena marah

Terjerit kat telinga I

Badi KFC baru kat Jitra, asal makan situ mesti ada pakcik marah kita haha

Sakit mata tgk bebudak baru nak up lepak McD konon study Physics tapi aku tgk berborak je non-stop

"Babe, pinjam duit"

"Weh esok jom breakfast Makcik Delimawati" - Esoknya semua bangun tgh hari

Sauna

Zati demand park dekat ngan elevator COLGIS sebab malas nak naik tangga

Tersalah panggil orang

Tersalah honk kereta orang

Tersalah angkat tangan kat orang

Bangun tgh hari, petang tido balik, unproductive sangat

Marah Pak Guard bila diorang turunkan palang
Gelabah bila nak dekat sampai kat guard, sambil perah otak fikir alasan apa sebab balik lambat

Sesi curahan hati/gossip

Surprise birthdays

Emo dengan memasing, tak lama pastu baik balik

Ill-feelings that can never last because we love each other too much

Selekeh pegi class, tapi takpe sebab takde sape nak marah

Dress up pegi class sebab hari tu rasa nak cantik pakai high heels bagai
Make-up sakan pegi class bila datang hari buang tebiat

Bahan budak lelaki dan dibahan
Sabo kereta orang

Datang class lambat

Tulis-tulis kat buku Zati

"Lapar lah", "Sumpah lapar gila", "Weh lapar weh tak kelakar", "Babe, you lapar tak?" adalah dialog yang kerap diperkatakan

Ngantuk dalam class

Habis class je terus blah gi makan tak pandang kiri kanan dah

Penang, Penang, Penang

"Nasib baik kita tak belajar kat UiTM kan?"

"I baru je cucuk duit, dah habis"

"Babe, bosan ahh"

Datang bilik cuma sebab bosan, perkara biasa

Malas study, perkara biasa jugak

Esok exam, harini baru cari notes, pun perkara biasa

Bila cuaca panas nak mampus, bising. Bila hujan lebat mencurah-curah, pun bising. Tak pernah bersyukur

Menangis atau menyumpah-nyumpah bila sidai baju tgh sedap ni panas terik ni, skali hujan tiba-tiba turun lebat, berlari-lari lah pegi angkat baju

"Kita ni asyik makan je mana tak gemuk", cakap sambil sumbat makanan dalam mulut

"I nak diet la mulai next week", tapi tak pernah buat

"Esok I nak morning walk", pun tak buat jugak

"Outside I'm smiling but inside, my heart is burning" ialah ayat yang paling menyentapkan haha

Pegi class bawak nothing but a pen, notes buku semua tak bawak

Gelak kuat-kuat macam dunia ni kita yang punya

Melalak dalam BHN

...............

You know what? I can't proceed anymore because the list goes on and on and on and on...

There are just too many of fond memories with you girls that I will never ever ever forget. You girls are the sisters God forgot to gave me. Sisters who keep me moving, keep me sane in a world so bitchy, who keep me up when everything was turning down on me, who help me grow up, help me discover myself, who help me to become a better person, who tell me that I can achieve life's goals, who tell me that impossible is nothing, who share the same dreams as myself, who let me know "I'll be there when you need me" without even uttering a single word, who are just as cuckoo as myself, and many more.

To you girls, you know I love you. I have nothing much to say because all that I've been doing is cry. Raihan's SMS tells it all, through different phase, we'll always stick together and that's our very own pinky promise, okay?

May Allah bless you girls. Like Mama said, thank you for being my friend =')

Heartbreak Hotel is Closed

Why are you so paranoid?
Don't be so paranoid
You worry 'bout the wrong things, the wrong things
You worry 'bout the wrong things, the wrong things
You really wanna spend your whole life alone?
A little timeout might do you good
Yeah you heard about all the words of mouth
Don't worry about what we can't control

-Paranoid

Danish Fetish

I put on this today, on my right hand, stared at it - Beautiful. The salesperson told me that everything (inclusive of bracelet and charms) cost approx RM30k.

I almost pass out. Waddehek? I have a bracelet worth RM30k on my hand?? Nuts!

Lepas tu baru teringat that Wina and I used to wander at Pavi and saw Pandora and we don't even dare to step into the shop! I had even insanely planned in my mind just now that I wanted to put aside half of my allowance and buy one charm per month. But by the time for me to be called to the Bar, I will only have 9 charms, still not enough to make it look like the super dope one in the photo above. Nak sampai tahap tu kena tunggu duit pencen nanti kot lols. Beli charms je, bracelet mampu nak beli, RM6000++, mampu? Gantung those charms kat tali rafia jela pastu ikat kat tangan hahaha.

Ok bye. Nak main "Unleash Your Creativity" kat Pandora's website! So fun! Dare to dream big :)

*Bila fikir balik, tak kuasa lah aku nak habiskan allowance semata-mata nak beli charms. Thomas Sabo sudeyh, penuhkan apa yang lompong skarang. Baik simpan duit, lepas Long Call, kita ronggeng Rokiah sama bebudak gila tu. Lols*

Rainbow & Chocolate

Nak buat ice-cream macam nak buat Teppanyaki, mampu?

Heaven on Earth :)

Now enough with ronggeng Rokiah ke sana dan ke sini. Sekarang tibalah masanya yang dinanti-nantikan, iaitu kepulangan sireh ke gagangnya. Maka dengan ini, pada malam ini I've to go back to uni to finish another 2 papers. *Die - sebab tak baca apa lagi hoi* Nanti dah habis studies I'm planning to tawaf KL, cari tempat makan yang best2 nak bawak Mama & Ayah :)

Sunday

Something happened today. I blurted out everything I've been keeping to myself and the most of all, I'll tell my girlfriends what I was feeling inside. What my disappointments were, and everything.

But today, with the magic of "opening up", I discovered one of life's beauty - The Relief.

I've been holding grudge for too long. I've been blaming him for what happened, blaming him for the pain I'm feeling inside, and everything. I put 3/4 of the blame on him, forgetting what actually happened - that I asked for this. I was the one who came out with the idea to go our separate ways, for some reasons I did.

But unfortunately for both of us, throughout, I happened to forget that. Forget the reasons why I did what I did. Why I made the decisions to put everything to an end. I forgot what I always wished he could have ; a normal life with a normal relationship. What we had was for some reasons not normal. I forgot, and I'm sorry for that.

*Insert tears of I-don't-know, joy perhaps?*

Anyway, what he said today was true. After all he's always been the person who reminded me of things I occasionally forget. And I should thank him, perhaps, for reminding me of what I've done, what he's attempted, and what I was so determined of.

And what I'm feeling today was beyond what I actually foresaw. The relief was so meaningful because this is what I needed. Thus I hope this will last, and I hope there'll be no grudge, ever again. Ameen.

Penggemuk

Something Mama & I bought for Makcik :) Can't wait to give it to her on my last day at Uni.

Newbies

They're lovely! Thank you Mama! You just know how to make me squeal heheee. Love you <3

His Blessings

From my journey back home from uni the other day, I knew I was blessed. I got to see my parents where both are in the pink of health, I got to do some shopping (after ages since I last shopped, half-insanely like that), I arrived home safe and sound and got to see my brothers, all well, except the fact that my second brother has gone bald just like my eldest (which Mama truly hate - the fact that she now have two baldy sons lols), and my little brother will enroll in UiTM next week (truly Ya Allah, I am so grateful for that). I failed to find the most perfect way to thank Allah. To sufficiently thank Him, have I thanked Him enough? Though I could not find the proper words to thank You, I know You heard me. I know You understand what I was trying to convey. I know You know. Because You are The Greatest. Masha Allah..

I felt that I was blessed. And I still think I am. Despite what happened in my life (which if it were to be seen from a positive perspective, also is a blessing to me), I am happy with what I have now.

I remember what Mama always always told me ;

Kita jangan bezakan diri kita dengan orang yang di atas, bezakan diri kita dengan orang yang di bawah.

With that, we will always be thankful for what we have, right? And most of the time I tried very hard not to compare myself to those who are 'above' me. It was hard, most of the time, to be unsatisfied with life, to want more in life, to need more in life, but as hard as it may be or seem to be, there's no harm in trying, right? So just try, you'll get used to it sooner or later, insha Allah :)

Anyway, tomorrow's gonna be another long day I suppose. Need to buy few things for lil bro. I can't believe he is now such a grown up. He's gonna be a mahasiswa soon, lols. That kiddo will soon have a matrix card wehh.

Till then. Good night lovelies. Don't forget to thank Allah for your day today, be it good or bad :) And don't forget to thank Him everyday, too :)

Rockin' Rawls

They said I should be less sensitive over petty matters.

I said I am phobia for what I have encountered from past relationship.

Hence, I'd say that........

I don't know what to say.

Buat bodoh perhaps? Malas nak layan, can I? I want to live life to the fullest and I don't need one particular person to be the fuel to get me moving. I have lotsa other people who are great enough to enlighten my days... But... There's always too many 'but', kan?

*******************

On a separate note, though Juris is now over, I'm still stressed out. Kenapa? Sebab dia :

Muka kerut macam cakap kat aku "Apsal bebal sangat kau soalan senang straight-forward pun takleh nak jawab? Dengar cite Masum dah tolong bagi clue."

Right... And dengar cite aku jawab soalan kau 6 baris je, Rawls? Rawwwrrr!

Si bodoh ni gelak-gelak sakan dah kenapaa? Kau tak kena tanya pasal "...principle that was a mere justification of political..." pejadah ahh malas nak ingat soalan tu tak berguna tu boleh la gelak sakan bang. Cuba abang duduk kat exam hall tadi dengan sejuknya, dengan bladder lemahnya, dengan nak kentut pun kena tahannya, dengan mengantuknya, dengan Masum asyik buat announcementnya, cuba bang. Kita tgk sape Lawlssss kat sape nanti.

Aku kecundang. Sentuhan kecundang. Ber-sengau-an bersama Abang Rahmat best gak kan. Bye.

Affection

I went back home few days ago, and en route to the firm for interview, Mama told me she bought me something. A notebook. I thought a notebook as in a notebook that I can doodle on and stuffs. So when I got back home Mama gave it to me, I was beyond happy because it was not a notebook that I thought but a book with notes heheeee. What do we call this kind of book, anyway?

Tak kisah la. As soon as I got this:

I don't get it kenapa Mama kena tulis tahun dia lahir -___-

I immediately giggled heheee nak hug Mama tapi Mama bushuk baru lepas masak hehh :D

So I opened it and here are few pages that got my eyes teary:

I have no words to say but, thank you Mama =') Now you make me miss you even more T___T

Alhamdulillah

2149 HRS

May 5th, 2011

Secured.

Interviews

I reached KL last night at approx 1AM and went to makan with parents and reached home only at 2.15AM.

Though too fatigue my physical was (mental, too, especially!), but I had to gagahkan diri cari my credentials as I LOST EVERYTHING. Funny much, no? Yes? NO. It's not funny when you lost your certs from secondary school, to every certs you got in Uni. No funny not funny not funny. In the end I could not find it and hit the sack. Woke up early and parents sent me to first firm for the day.

Firm #1

• 1/4 sized firm (not a small neither a medium-sized, so my friends and I considered this type of firm as a quarter)
• Doesn't offer a very pleasing first impression
• Boss is very nice, fat, heavy smoker, loves to close his eyes while thinking of what to say. Comel.
• Areas of practice : General liti, banking liti, conveyancing, criminal liti (upon request), a little bit on corporate
• Takes up to 4 chambie at one time, currently are having 2
• Allowance tak berapa nak best
• Concluding remark : You can call me if you're interested to join

I then had lunch with A and headed to second firm. I walked. I walked! That was an achievement for my lazy self, ok.

Firm #2

• 3/4 sized firm (this type of firm is neither a medium-sized nor a big-sized firm, but the partner told me it's a medium-sized firm)
• Pleasant, exclusive and professional environment
• I was given forms to be filled, and 'exam' questions. As if I am not stressed enough with my workloads back in uni, huh?
• Waited in Strength Room to be interviewed (they named their rooms with such names ; Strength, Honor, etc. Coolness)
• 2 of the partners interviewed me, both were extremely nice.
• Areas of practice : Corporate, Islamic banking & finance, convey, civil liti, bla bla bla banyak gila kot areas of practice dia
• I was warned of longgg working hours. Never dream of 9-5 or even 9-7 basis. Never say never, tibe.
• I was also told that 'Law is a jealous spouse' and that we are married to law. Yikes.
• Allowance best nak mampus. Tengok workload la bhai!
• Concluding remark : We'd have to discuss with other partners and we'll let you know hopefully by next week either via SMS or email.

Both are located nearby KLCC. Imma happy kid if I am accepted at either firm. KLCC pun akan gembira sebab sejarah lama akan berulang kembali. Yang penting kalau taknak makan tido berak dalam kereta, tolong naik LRT. Hidup jangan nak selesa sangat. Jammed macam haram. Tapi kalau dapat Firm #2, kalau dah balik kul 2, 3 pagi takpe la bawak keta siap boleh race lagi auwww. A cakap kalau dapat Firm #2, lunch hari2 OKB belanja lols.

All in all, let's just wait, see, and pray :) May the best firm wins jyeahh!