I'm not sure of where this feeling is heading me to. Anxiousness, sorrow and no sight of happiness. Family's in a mess and friends are nowhere to be seen, or at least, heard. I think I should listen to Viktor Vauthier more; Expect the best and be prepared for the worst. But hell I'm not prepared at all. I'm just so fucked up and I wish to say Fuck You to everything. Shit! I'm so bad at handling problems. It's not that I've forgotten the Creator but at times prayers just won't do me justice. I don't know what I'm expecting on how life should treat me well, but at least have some mercy. I want nothing, absolutely nothing from life right now at this very precise moment. I give no concern bout friends at all, now. I give no care bout studies, not until it is time for me to go back to the fucking campus. And I give no concern bout anything at all. I've held my tears enough from pouring like heavy rain in Kelantan/Terengganu, but that does not amend things you know. I don't care about buying new things and I feel like putting my whole wardrobe on fire! I don't care about the bloody Jessup that is ruining my holidays, though my holidays are not that GREAT to be ruined anyway. At times I feel like quitting everything I'm doing. Studies and all. But at some other times I feel like staying in the campus, shut the connection out with EVERYBODY, and live a peaceful life there, alone. What an idiot, and only idiots would ever think of such action. And fuck all those things that's going on with fashion or life or news or sports or politics or arts or anything. I don't read, so what? Life's unfair, so what? I'm ruined and messed up and I have no friends because I made no effort to meet them, so what? I have not seen him in months, so what? I have a family which is filled with problems here and there, so what? I failed to get good grades, so what? I'm broke, so what?
Fuck life, and everything that's in, beyond, or surrounds it.
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